Awareness

We have been speaking about awareness or pure consciousness as opposed to the ego or body consciousness. This is a very crucial thing to understand.

Many people when they start meditating and reading about it think that they know what is awareness , but are not correct in this regard.

It takes decades of patient exploration sometimes to know what really this awareness is all about.

What we sometimes know as awareness is not what is meant as pure consciousness.

In order to see this, let us take the "Who am I?" approach that Ramana Maharshi speaks about . Some disciple asked him whether it is  a mantra that  we need to repeat.

 He replied No . It is not at all a mantra. 

Then is it a question we ask the mind ?. 

He replied No.

It is not a mental activity . If it is a mental activity then it is only one of the thoughts in the mind. 

The idea here is to probe the question in a non mental way to trace all your thoughts to its source without analyzing it using a thought system.

It is rather difficult to do so. We are trained to do all probing using thoughts only. 

Let me explain it in some more detail. What is the first thing that we get to know before we do any mental processes?. 

It is the feeling that "I exist". If I don't exist then the thoughts cannot arise. 

However the feeling "I exist" is not a thought in our mind. We just know we are.

Try to locate this sensation. 

Close your eyes and try to locate the sensation of your existence. Reject all thoughts other than that. 

This sense of being is the root . In this you should not use the mind to do any ruminating to find out what and where is it. You just need to probe it using the  sensation. 

Mostly you would see a big void of blankness...

It is purely a subjective experience. I cannot tell you what you would experience. But day in day out you should try to locate the sense of being in you by trying to halt the thought processes. 

This pure sense of being can come only when your mind is turned completely inward instead of the regular outward inclination. 

Persistence and patience are required. 

The sense of being is the only self evident thing. Everything else that we know requires evidence other than that to prove its existence. How do you know that the sun exists?. We can use many sensory perceptions like seeing , feeling etc and analyze it using our thoughts to determine its existence. It is not self evident . However our own existence is self evident. It is one of the root knowledge which requires no analysis. It is seldom subject to any analysis. And we take it for granted.

Locate this self evident feeling . That is what is called the "I am ".  

Let me explain what is the difference between this feeling and other thoughts. A thought always has a beginning and an end.  A thought comes and goes and then a new one starts. Between these thoughts there is a short gap. Otherwise we cannot say there are two thoughts. It can be compared to an activity like cooking . You start cooking and end it after completing it. When you are doing this cooking you are in a state called "the cook" or cooker. Similarly you can say you are a walker , cleaner etc. However you are never permanently in any state. Right?.

However the feeling of being cannot stop. If it stopped even for a moment we would feel dead. Even when in deep sleep this feeling is there, that is why we say we slept not we died. 

This continuous feeling of being is what you are trying to locate through meditation. The difference between this sense of being and thoughts is that one is permanent always with us while the other is transient .  

This continuity is why we call this awareness and not awarer . An awarer would start and end the awareness experience. 

In contrast we don't call walking as state of walkness.. as it is not a continuous thing.

The most important point to understand is that it is not something that can be known.  This is because it is not an object of knowledge. 

We need to BECOME THAT to experience it!!!

This point is something we will explore more.

So to summarize  .

1. It is a sensation apart from the mind and is a continuous permanent phenomenon illumining all our being which is the reason why it is called awareness.

2. It is the only thing which is self evident 

3. It is nothing but the feeling that " I am" ( existence )

4. It is not part of the mental process like thoughts etc and hence never be found using the thought system.

5. It is the source of everything that is happening in us.

6. The most important fact it is not something that can be known. We can only become that.

This is why people find it difficult to know what awareness or pure consciousness is. So as far as possible use your own probing meditation to locate this sense of being. As i told you before it is not something of an exercise , rather it is a continuous process..