Let us look at some of the desires in life . If we ask any human being of what she wants in life , here are the typical responses.
I want Money
I want Security in Life
I want my near and dear ones safe ,healthy and well doing
I want to be free of any diseases and pains and be healthy
etc etc.
You might say these are some thoughts . Thoughts are just verbalization in some language.
A languages is one which attaches meaning to words. Words are just symbols which stand for something "out there". So what we want to know is this. What do these word symbols really stand for?.
Now look at this closely. There are three parts to this equation. Let us start from the end and go to the start. Last part signifies things that we know. Money is known to us . Security is known to us. Health is known to us. At least we agree to some common definition to all these terms. Now comes the middle portion . It all contains "want". This also we can agree to some extent. Want means that once we have something we feel better than what we feel now. So it signifies our adequacy. If the right side of want is obtained somehow, it is better than what it is now. So want is the thing which pushes us towards the items. It is an urge let us say. Now comes the first part of the equation. It says "I". You can see that even though there are many objects that we want the I is only one. So it is something to whom these objects need to be attached. So now ask yourself " Who is this I".
Where can i find the "I" , so that we would be sure that the mysterious entity would feel fulfilled.
This is the most important part which needs to be understood. You can see that the I cannot be located anywhere, like money or some such object. This is an imaginary conversation between Rama and Sita on the subject .
Rama : Who is this I that is wanting ?.If you agree that the above desires are just a sequence of thoughts in your mind, you have to admit that the I is the entity that has conjured up these thoughts. Now who is that ?. How do these thoughts come to your mind?. What is the source ?.
Sita : Oh i just thought about them. I don't see any problems with that . Whenever i want i can think and on any subject i wish.
Rama: So you think there is an I which is producing these thoughts in your mind.
Sita : Yes. It is me .
Rama: Now please answer this. How do you influence it,? Obviously you cannot open your mind and insert a thought there. Or to put it in neuro-scientific terms, you cannot wire up a neural network by opening your brain. A thought could be a pattern in your brain. You cannot create it physically.
Sita : Why do you complicate these things.? I can use my will power to think a particular thought or a set of thoughts.
Rama: No i am just trying to locate where this "I" is located. Now you told me about will power. Can you use your will power to empty your mind of all thoughts. If you think you can produce thoughts , you must be able to kill them also at will . eh?
Sita : No. I cannot do that . I cannot even a kill a single thought. Thoughts are there irrespective of whether i want them or not. hmm. I am beginning to see what you are hinting. I seem to have a sense of "I". But the more deeply i look , the more illusory it seems. It is not a single definable thing like an object. It is more like the thoughts are coming and going on their own. Only thing is in my wake state i become conscious of the thoughts in my mind. This becoming conscious of my own thoughts is what gives me the feeling that i am the person who is thinking.
Rama: Yes. You are aware of your own thoughts in your mind. When you become aware of your own thoughts , you think you are producing them at your will. You dont actually produce them at your so called will. So now you agree , that the sense of "I" producing your own thoughts is not what reality is . Right ?.
Sita : Yes. But then the desires that I have are also something that just appears in my mind, and since I become aware of them, i think i have these desires. Is that what it is ?.
Rama: Yes . We never questioned that before . We take it for granted. All you really have is your awareness. The other things that you seem to have like thoughts needs wants etc are just arising in the awareness. This is why even if you have these objects , you are not satisfied. New thoughts would come without your permission and you would run behind them.
Sita : I do have a question here. So why do i seem to have these specific desires. Someone else has a new set of desires.
Rama: Yes. It is true. The conditioning that you receive in life , the learning that you have , the belief system all contribute to your vasanas or tendencies . It is from all these that these thoughts are coming. However the point to understand is that it is not determined precisely by you. It just happens. So why do you worry when something doesn't happen the way you supposedly want. Just as you now understood that the thoughts are not explicitly defined by you, the outcomes are also not precisely defined by you. It is only your sense of falsely believing that you are willfully desiring them that has created the sense of unhappiness when something doesn't work the way you want. You think "you are thinker , you are the doer, you are the enjoyer". What i am telling you is nothing is predetermined. Abandon this notion.
Sita : Now if that is the case what is the point in life?. Should i just stop doing everything and leave everything to destiny.
Rama: I never said that. What i asked you was to find out first who is the entity that is desiring . Reflecting on that , would make you understand that what mind tells you about success and failure are all wrong. If you are not tied to this feeling then your actions would become more pure. You do with proper understanding. Results don't make you sad. You learn to live appreciating everything . On the other hand if you have the notion that I am thinking and having these desires , you have a sense of doership in your actions. When you have a sense of doership the results affect you , because it is You that did something. When you abandon your doership , you begin to see the grand scheme of things .
Sita : I think we started with asking the question who is the I to whom the thoughts are coming. You pointed out that there is no I that it pertains to because thoughts are happenings in consciousness. And there is no author who produces them in the real sense . Now if that is the case is there no I at all?.
Rama: Good question. You remarked that you are becoming aware of your thoughts . Now ask yourself whether this is dependent on any happenings in your mind. Does your awareness happen under any specific circumstance?. Or it is there always ?.
Sita : No it is there always . So even though my mind , my thoughts, emotions feelings, sensations are happenings depending on various factors in the universe , this awareness through which i know them all is always there irrespective of any conditions. Even the results of my actions are becoming aware to me. So awareness is the real sense of I . It seems to be more solid than the illusory I who is the producer of thoughts in my mind.
Rama: Now you are talking. Now ask yourself this question. Does this "I " really want anything?. Your awareness is just that . It becomes conscious of everything . It doesn't really want anything in particular. So isn't it wrong to say that you have wants in life?. Instead of this, ease into your awareness.
Sita : I get your point. So instead of worrying about me having desires etc , i should think whatever i need to do , i should do and appreciate the results with equal gratitude because except for my awareness everything seems to happen on their own and there is nothing such as good or bad intrinsically.
This imaginary conversation just brings up the false beliefs and notions we have about our own life. It all stems from not properly understanding "Who I am" . If we accept this primal ignorance , our life would make more sense and we can move towards our real self .
I want Money
I want Security in Life
I want my near and dear ones safe ,healthy and well doing
I want to be free of any diseases and pains and be healthy
etc etc.
You might say these are some thoughts . Thoughts are just verbalization in some language.
A languages is one which attaches meaning to words. Words are just symbols which stand for something "out there". So what we want to know is this. What do these word symbols really stand for?.
Now look at this closely. There are three parts to this equation. Let us start from the end and go to the start. Last part signifies things that we know. Money is known to us . Security is known to us. Health is known to us. At least we agree to some common definition to all these terms. Now comes the middle portion . It all contains "want". This also we can agree to some extent. Want means that once we have something we feel better than what we feel now. So it signifies our adequacy. If the right side of want is obtained somehow, it is better than what it is now. So want is the thing which pushes us towards the items. It is an urge let us say. Now comes the first part of the equation. It says "I". You can see that even though there are many objects that we want the I is only one. So it is something to whom these objects need to be attached. So now ask yourself " Who is this I".
Where can i find the "I" , so that we would be sure that the mysterious entity would feel fulfilled.
This is the most important part which needs to be understood. You can see that the I cannot be located anywhere, like money or some such object. This is an imaginary conversation between Rama and Sita on the subject .
Rama : Who is this I that is wanting ?.If you agree that the above desires are just a sequence of thoughts in your mind, you have to admit that the I is the entity that has conjured up these thoughts. Now who is that ?. How do these thoughts come to your mind?. What is the source ?.
Sita : Oh i just thought about them. I don't see any problems with that . Whenever i want i can think and on any subject i wish.
Rama: So you think there is an I which is producing these thoughts in your mind.
Sita : Yes. It is me .
Rama: Now please answer this. How do you influence it,? Obviously you cannot open your mind and insert a thought there. Or to put it in neuro-scientific terms, you cannot wire up a neural network by opening your brain. A thought could be a pattern in your brain. You cannot create it physically.
Sita : Why do you complicate these things.? I can use my will power to think a particular thought or a set of thoughts.
Rama: No i am just trying to locate where this "I" is located. Now you told me about will power. Can you use your will power to empty your mind of all thoughts. If you think you can produce thoughts , you must be able to kill them also at will . eh?
Sita : No. I cannot do that . I cannot even a kill a single thought. Thoughts are there irrespective of whether i want them or not. hmm. I am beginning to see what you are hinting. I seem to have a sense of "I". But the more deeply i look , the more illusory it seems. It is not a single definable thing like an object. It is more like the thoughts are coming and going on their own. Only thing is in my wake state i become conscious of the thoughts in my mind. This becoming conscious of my own thoughts is what gives me the feeling that i am the person who is thinking.
Rama: Yes. You are aware of your own thoughts in your mind. When you become aware of your own thoughts , you think you are producing them at your will. You dont actually produce them at your so called will. So now you agree , that the sense of "I" producing your own thoughts is not what reality is . Right ?.
Sita : Yes. But then the desires that I have are also something that just appears in my mind, and since I become aware of them, i think i have these desires. Is that what it is ?.
Rama: Yes . We never questioned that before . We take it for granted. All you really have is your awareness. The other things that you seem to have like thoughts needs wants etc are just arising in the awareness. This is why even if you have these objects , you are not satisfied. New thoughts would come without your permission and you would run behind them.
Sita : I do have a question here. So why do i seem to have these specific desires. Someone else has a new set of desires.
Rama: Yes. It is true. The conditioning that you receive in life , the learning that you have , the belief system all contribute to your vasanas or tendencies . It is from all these that these thoughts are coming. However the point to understand is that it is not determined precisely by you. It just happens. So why do you worry when something doesn't happen the way you supposedly want. Just as you now understood that the thoughts are not explicitly defined by you, the outcomes are also not precisely defined by you. It is only your sense of falsely believing that you are willfully desiring them that has created the sense of unhappiness when something doesn't work the way you want. You think "you are thinker , you are the doer, you are the enjoyer". What i am telling you is nothing is predetermined. Abandon this notion.
Sita : Now if that is the case what is the point in life?. Should i just stop doing everything and leave everything to destiny.
Rama: I never said that. What i asked you was to find out first who is the entity that is desiring . Reflecting on that , would make you understand that what mind tells you about success and failure are all wrong. If you are not tied to this feeling then your actions would become more pure. You do with proper understanding. Results don't make you sad. You learn to live appreciating everything . On the other hand if you have the notion that I am thinking and having these desires , you have a sense of doership in your actions. When you have a sense of doership the results affect you , because it is You that did something. When you abandon your doership , you begin to see the grand scheme of things .
Sita : I think we started with asking the question who is the I to whom the thoughts are coming. You pointed out that there is no I that it pertains to because thoughts are happenings in consciousness. And there is no author who produces them in the real sense . Now if that is the case is there no I at all?.
Rama: Good question. You remarked that you are becoming aware of your thoughts . Now ask yourself whether this is dependent on any happenings in your mind. Does your awareness happen under any specific circumstance?. Or it is there always ?.
Sita : No it is there always . So even though my mind , my thoughts, emotions feelings, sensations are happenings depending on various factors in the universe , this awareness through which i know them all is always there irrespective of any conditions. Even the results of my actions are becoming aware to me. So awareness is the real sense of I . It seems to be more solid than the illusory I who is the producer of thoughts in my mind.
Rama: Now you are talking. Now ask yourself this question. Does this "I " really want anything?. Your awareness is just that . It becomes conscious of everything . It doesn't really want anything in particular. So isn't it wrong to say that you have wants in life?. Instead of this, ease into your awareness.
Sita : I get your point. So instead of worrying about me having desires etc , i should think whatever i need to do , i should do and appreciate the results with equal gratitude because except for my awareness everything seems to happen on their own and there is nothing such as good or bad intrinsically.
This imaginary conversation just brings up the false beliefs and notions we have about our own life. It all stems from not properly understanding "Who I am" . If we accept this primal ignorance , our life would make more sense and we can move towards our real self .
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