As we live our mundane existence, unconscious of our true nature, we seem to have lot of suffering. Thoughts always pester us. Most of them are negative. We always seem to like something elusive called happiness. We constantly compare our present state with that imagined state and conclude that we do suffer now. Either there is hope in the future or we resign ourselves that it would never come. Whatever that is, we conclude the present situation is not what it should be. It is striking that in various orders it is almost the same story for most of mankind. Nobody seems to be satisfied. The richest persons are anything but happy. Common men all share the same predicament. There seems to be a curse on humanity. A secret mental illness seems to cloud our life. Since everyone is affected, nobody complains about the other!!!.
What is the source of all this?. Is the problem related to the external world?. Or is it because of our own misapprehension?. What is the solution if there is one. Everybody would like to know. The border line between madness and sanity is very thin. Madness comes when this becomes a constant state of mind. For most this comes and goes. In between there is a lull. We never notice it , but this is what makes us sane.
Once, the famous psychologist William James went to a lunatic asylum. After the visit, he came back and became silent for a long period.
His wife asked him. "What happened to you? . Why are you so depressed?".
He replied
"A thought came to me. I saw one of my old friends there. He was sane once, as sane as anyone. Now he is mad, and he couldn't do anything to prevent it. A thought came to my mind that if, tomorrow or the next day, I am taken possession of by madness, how could I prevent it? Man is helpless. This friend of mine was as sane as me, or even more so. He couldn't do anything, he has become mad. I also can become mad, and nothing can be done to prevent it."
If we really look into the problem, the most striking aspect of this is that it is only the human beings who suffer this much. The animals which are also sharing the planet with us seem to be better off. They may not have access to the riches, the pleasures, the conveniences, but they lead a very peaceful life. What all these conveniences for anyway if we cant be happy?. The animals seems to get it naturally. When you see a bird sing in the morning, how peaceful she seems. When you see a dog eating some food, he seems to be just enjoying it without any worries. The whole of nature rests in harmony ever blissful and serene. The so called powerful humans on the other hand always suffers never noticing the nature, never happy for long and always running around seeking something which he himself never knows.
The root of all this is that we have moved far away from our home, which is our true nature. Our true nature is "Sat-chit-ananda", which is existence-consciousness-bliss. We are nothing short of pure consciousness which is unlimited. The real atman which is the same as Brahman is unlimited bliss and eternal. When we get up in the morning , we have a feeling that something is existing. We dont know what that something is , but we have a feeling of existence and awareness . But not for long. The mind which is a limited form of this infinite consciousness takes over. The purpose of the mind is to make sense of sensory perception. When we see a tree, there is visual stimuli that falls in our brain. The mind is the instrument which can decode the tree for us. It can use its previous learning to say that it is in fact a tree that is out there. The mind actually comes from the unlimited awareness, but it has to limit itself to a small form of consciousness to know external objects. So in order to limit itself it assumes that the I is also limited. So the nearest I that can see is the body which also looks like an object to consciousness. So it assumes that I is the body. So you can see the problem here. The real I is the infinite awareness, but since the mind has come into existence afterward it doesnt know about this awareness from which it has arisen. So it assumes that the body is the I. This is the crux of the problem. This is how the ego arises in us.
You might ask what is the problem with this simplistic assumption. What is the big deal with this. But we can easily see that all the problems comes from this identification process. Why is this so?. Let us see. Suppose you are seeing a tree out there. What is the feeling that you get in the waking state. You get the feeling that "I am seeing the tree." In reality what is happening is the eyes are seeing the tree and the brain is interpreting the signals. But the mind has substituted the eyes and brain with I . So it says " I am seeing the tree". Now the reality is that the seeing is happening and the real I is a witness to this experience. The awareness is the real background in which this process of seeing is happening. The awareness sees a thought coming and recognizing the tree. As far as awareness is concerned this thought is just that; a thought. It is an arising in consciousness. A bubble which comes and goes. The real I has nothing to do with it. It just witnesses this experience. If you realize this you can see that the tree with all its colors and form is a pure experience for you. You can only see the divinity in this experience. But in order to do that you need to take a back seat of awareness. Then only you would notice everything. The visual sensory perception , the thoughts , the understanding everything happening and going.
If on the other hand if you assume that " I am seeing the tree". You might miss what the reality of experience is . Instead you might get lost in thought. A thought might suddenly come and say " I saw a tree somewhere in my school days where i was young". The moment this thought comes you might start thinking about your childhood and its happiness. Then you start comparing it with your present state of affairs and so on. Now see the deceit of the mind. The moment you identify with your body as far as the experience is concerned, it can take you as a body into your imagination. What you get is a deluge of thoughts instead of the purity of the experience of just seeing the tree as it is. You need to see two things here. First there is a thought. Second there is the identification with the thought. It is the second thing that catches our attention. It makes our interest in it. It is this that we should object. It is ok to have this thought of a tree. But abandon the notion that I am attached to it. Instead just appreciate the experience as it is . A seeing is happening that is all.
The experience of just watching the tree might be exaggerated. But you can see how this works for most of our experiences.
We fail to see the moment. In fact we see anything other than what is there in the moment. As somebody said , people get so engrossed in thought that they just have the presence to avoid the obstacles in their path.
A second grave problem that arises is that we assume the doership of our actions. Whatever you do with the body for example helping others would give you the false notion that " I did some service". Now naturally you expect something back from the other person or in some other situation a deluge of thoughts comes whereby you lament " I have to do this. but i dont get any help and everybody complains also" and so on. This problem of doership is the beginning of expectation, disillusionment and so on. Even people who do "Selfless service" have this problem that they are doing selfless service!!!. Notice the paradox. If you are doing something then there is doership. If you just act without the ego involved, then we understand it is just a happening in awareness, it is not a doing. We should not be human doings we should become human beings. "Be as you are" as Ramana told us.
The way of spiritual life is to overcome this ignorance about our true I-ness. The ego is an assumption by the mind to limit itself since it arises itself from pure consciousness. It is in fact a non existent thing. We can only see that on close examining as it happens in self enquiry. Suppose you have this thought in your mind " I am worried about problem X". Now just ask the mind who
this "I "really is . The mind cannot answer satisfactorily. So you can see this. There is a thought . But the thought is not corresponding to any particular entity. However if we believe what the mind says then this thought is corresponding to me. Since me is actually awareness, the awareness becomes conscious of all the happenings in the mind and it hardly rests in its place.
Since there is no space in awareness we become miserable. So it is the clouding of awareness with the identification of the thought that has caused the issue. Always remember this. Whenever we deviate far from our true state we are not doing well. Since our true awareness is taken over by the clouding we are miserable. It all comes from a misapprehension about the identity .
The process of identification is clearly seen in the case of a pain. A pain is only a sensation in the body. It is an object of understanding in awareness, However if there is a thought " I have pain". There would be lot of stories associated with the sensation. There would be lot of scope for commentary by the mind about the pain sensation. So instead of experiencing only the pain sensation we would get lost in thoughts about it. This completely clouds our awareness. Remember whatever there is in front of awareness it would be aware of it, If we have a plethora of thoughts it would become aware of them, leaving no room and enhancing the pain . We cannot avoid the sensation, but we can certainly avoid the thoughts arising out of identification.
We should have always the presence to witness all the thoughts, emotions , feelings , sensations coming and going. From the vantage point of awareness we should remain a witness to all of them. And if we truly see that it is this awareness that is the real I, then nothing transient can trouble us. There is nothing to seek, nothing to desire, nothing to worry about. We are already the supreme bliss that we ever were. One , still, free and perfect.
There is often an analogy of a bank and a river, The happenings in your mind and body are like the streams of water going by. You are on the bank of the river watching them come and go.
The analogy is not perfect as it creates a dual feeling as though the happenings are different from the awareness. The truth is everything that we experience is only an arising in awareness and not distinct from it. However to begin with the witness state is a good way to see the stream of mind objects go by.
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