Center-less presence

               kuuTasthaM bodham advaitam aatmaanaM paribhaavaya
               aabhaaso'haM bhramaM muktvaa bhaavaM baahyam ath'aantaraM. 1.13

Meditate on yourself as motionless awareness, free from any dualism, giving up the mistaken idea that you are just a derivative consciousness, or anything external or internal. Ashtavakra gita

As we start practicing meditation, we see many things which normally escape our attention. If you have seen an emotional situation which occupies your attention, you would see that it was just an emotion rising first. Then it gets associated with "me". Normal life you would not notice this as two separate internal incidents. But in meditation we see these things distinctly. Out of nowhere an emotion or thought comes up first , then it gets associated with "me". Once that association comes up, the interest in it increases and we go on following it up. If we can see it happening on how a thought is arising and then our attention is drawn, we can always start to let go of the last part of association to see the emotion returning into consciousness . So we are not saying thoughts and emotions should not appear. Let them do so. But let us not get entangled with them by false associations.

Another interesting part of the ego consciousness is that it stems from a resistance to the current experience. When we start perceiving incidents, we see lot of things to resist. We want it to be slightly different. Sometimes vehemently so. Sometimes mildly so. Anyway we are not in tune with it. This leads to desire or aversion. Raga or Dwesha. Both of them are aspects of resistance to the current happenings. While desire is projection of the mind to a future situation which rectifies the problems or completes us in a different way, aversion says we want to avoid the situation altogether. Aversion also is desire in disguise. Ego comes from movement. Whenever there is movement of thought , emotion etc there is a possibility of association. These projections and past remembrances all create movement for the mind to associate it with "me". So you see the process. Resistance starts up and then converted to desire which later gets into movement and then onto association of me.

Resistance can also come when ego detects impermanence. When we are threatened with impermanence, ego tries to come up external things it want to cling to to make it permanent. This includes desire to money , security, relationships and so on.

This flux of activity is what makes meditation a difficult thing for us. While meditation is all about awareness which is stillness or silence , ego is all about movement. Whichever is stronger wins. However please note that when we move away from the ego , you will start seeing that there is no need to even reject ego. Acceptance of this movement is also good. There is only one thing which we need to do. Try to understand how the association happens with "me". Try to explore whether it is  real or just an imaginary construct. Just by watching this process carefully you would see this vanishes. Once that association goes, you would see that the thought no longer is persistent. So avoiding desire is not by rejecting desire itself. It is by understanding association with "me". The more conscious you become, the more detailed you see it , the easier it becomes for you to avoid associating .

Many people have the mistaken notion that the success of meditation is associated with stillness or absolute silence. In the figurative sense it may be so, but literally it doesn't happen all the time. However if we become conscious of all events that are happening including the associations with "me", you would see that nothing stays. Everything comes and goes . Its the witnessing of this volatility that is important. The second purpose of meditation would be to try to stay with the present. We have seen it is the resistance that takes us away. So if the resistance is dissolved , staying with the present falls into place.

The whole process starts with you being unconscious of this intricate drama that is happening. If you are not conscious, there is total ignorance of what goes on. This helps the mind to resist the present, create desire, associate it with you and carry you from there on. Even before you know , you are in the midst of thoughts, emotions and the whirlpool. This is why we say that , it all stems from our primal ignorance of not knowing the internal world. So you can see removing the disease of ignorance by taking the medicine of atmajyan is the way.

As osho once said it is impossible to love , if there is even a trace of ego. Love and ego are opposites.It promotes and sustains a modified version of love called give and take. This helps it to start its expectations after giving. Pure spiritual love is all about giving not taking. If we become the other completely then only there can be love. If we are the other then where is the question of taking from the other.

All we need to understand is that there is no center of all happenings. Happenings are all everywhere. There is neither a center for them nor is an identity associated with it. The only way we can see this is becoming completely conscious. If there is no center , then where are the limitations perceived by the mind. The reality of atman is that it is everywhere, not centered on around the body and mind.

The View

I am self effulgent . I am ever pure , the uncontaminated essence of pure consciousness.I am holy , infinite , blissful and action-less.
                                                                                                                  Rama Gita


As you analyze the problems of your life, you can see that there are broadly two kinds of problems. One concerning me or the "I" and the other concerning no "I". The first kind creates all kinds of issues while the second creates relatively less noise. The mind has its own way of telling you which problems are important to you. It has two powers for doing it. One is, past memories and impressions of experiences and our conditioning to it. The second one is called projection or a modified imagination of future situations. All experiences are not used for this. Experiences in which you have been involved intensely have special powers in gripping your attention. For projections and future it uses your belief system. You have a certain world view about everything. You might say " I want to be good in my work and help my kids reach their full potential". This is supported by your social perceptions, your own conditioning in life, your education and so on. Your mind uses this belief system in all projections. So when a thought or emotion arises in you, it is colored by the past memories and vasanas as well by projections about of how it would be in a different scenario. Because of these coloring, the thought that has arisen becomes interesting. In short the reality of the thought seems to carry force of attention because of these coloring. Not only is this process emotional, but also most of the times accompanied by sensations. When a worrying emotion grips you , you might feel a heartbeat increase, a slight chest congestion and so on. All these bodily responses carry more weight to the thoughts etc in your mind.

The purpose of the mind in doing all these drama is to make you act in specific ways and increase the thought system. So it is like a self preserving system. The more you think on these lines the more its power to guide you increases. It uses one more important construct for this purpose. And that is concept of the identity of the thinker. The whirlpool of thoughts seems to originate from a central thought called the "I thought". All the thoughts refers to or comes from this central thought. The central thought is the thought " I am this body". Once this thought is accepted , then your mind can guide your body into action. You would act based on a thought that is come up by using your body. This is the reason why you think " I am something inside my body". From the inside of my body i am seeing, hearing touching this world which is outside me. Whole through your life you have been living acting and behaving in ways directed by all this machinery. You have never been aware because our view is always outward.

In Non duality teaching we use the concept of " The view". what is the view?. It is a total perception of reality as it is happening. This can be understood with an example. Suppose you are driving a car. Your view is always fixed to the outside conditions. The road , the people, the trees especially whatever is in front and back of you. You don't bother much about what is going inside the car. If you did, you would be in trouble. But you are aware that you are not looking inside. In life, however the view needs to be more internal than external. Whatever it is, you will see that our view is often incomplete. It is partial. You have an incomplete view of reality. So the way of spirituality is to complete the view. This entails looking inside our inner world and completing the process of the view. So the sakshi bhavam as mentioned in the upanishads tells you to have a complete view of reality. So become aware of not only external things , but at the same time become aware of your inner world. This has  the purpose of completing the view. A 360 degree view of reality.

Let us take a simple example of this view. In a normal situation when somebody is shouting at you for no reason or for no fault of yours, you would be angry. You might either start an argument or if you are not able to do so have a pathetic and sad response to it. If you just look at the partial view , you only see the anger expressing through the person who is shouting at you. That is you only see the sounds, the meanings of these sounds and so on. The situation presents a dangerous situation for you. You also have confusion , anger sadness and so on. Now look at your inner world. You would see that apart from the shouting , there are lot of things that are happening. Anger is rising in you. Interpretations are going on, reactionary responses are built . When you become aware of all of these you tend to understand that the responses in you are also as bad as the anger that is risen against you. Another thing is you see clearly, you are not this anger or sorrow. Anger sorrow etc are part of you. You are not that. It is only an arising in you. That is why you can see it If you see something then it cannot be you. Just as so many things have come and gone this would also come and go. Arent you the seer of these thoughts in you?. Arent you the witness. Now as you see this , anger would dissolve into consciousness as a wave subsides. Thus the mind has failed to provoke you into a reaction which would affect your later interactions.

So you need to have a complete view of the situation to see what is reality rather than just have an outward view and an interpretation based on that. It is an incomplete understanding. This is why vedanta says, we suffer because of ignorance. All religions usually say , do this and do that without properly telling you why. Vedanta and non dual teachings tell you this. There is ignorance. If you have ignorance, there is possibility of error. If there is error in perceiving things you would suffer because of the mismatch between your expectation and the actual reality.

If you look into our life we see that we have lived with this incomplete egoistic view so strongly that, we would fail to see the ignorance even after someone points out that. This comes from two things. One is failure to apply it into our own life. Second is the strong belief in the egoistic interpretation of reality. We tend to say all this is good , but in my everyday life i think the egoistic view is the only thing that can help me. Also i am not a realized person to transcend my suffering. So we continue clutching our own ideas of reality.

There is a story about a young man who was a trader and had a beautiful wife and baby son. Sadly, his wife fell ill and died, and the man poured all his love into his little child, who became the sole source of his happiness and joy. Once while he went away on business, bandits raided his village, burned it to the ground and captured his five-year-old son. When he returned and saw the devastation, he was beside himself with grief. He found the charred corpse of a small child, and in his desperation, he took it for the body of his son. He tore at his hair and beat his chest, and wept uncontrollably. At last, he arranged a cremation ceremony, collected up the ashes, and put them in a very precious silk pouch. Whether he was working, sleeping or eating, he always carried that bag of ashes with him, and often he would sit alone and weep, for hours on end.

One day his son escaped from the bandits, and found his way home. It was midnight when he arrived at his father’s new house and knocked on the door. The man lay in bed, sobbing, the bag of ashes by his side. “Who is it?” he asked. The child answered, “It’s me, daddy, it’s your son. Open the door.” In his anguish and confusion, all that the father could  think of was that some malicious  boy was playing a cruel trick on him. “Go away,” he shouted, “leave me alone.” Then he started to cry once more. Again and again, the boy knocked, but the father refused to let him in. Finally, he slowly turned and walked away. The father and son never saw one another ever again.

Sometime, somewhere you take something to be the truth. But if you cling to it too strongly, then even when the truth comes in and knocks on your door, you will not open it.

The view when completed to include our inner world has the calming effect on us in that our mind becomes less reactive, less extroverted, less emotional and rests in its true source. In turning inwards it has found its true effulgence . The supreme awareness which in the background of our inner world will start to reveal itself as the truth. Ignorance is the only hindrance to it. When the veil drops , the sun rays will come through illuminating all.

When the view is complete , our actions are different. When we don't have the view, the actions are guided unconsciously by the thought patterns , while with the view the actions are purified by responses which are not reactive and also less expecting. An expectation is often the result of an incomplete understanding. When the action is just done , without internal evaluation and expectations it is more pure and creates no impressions in us. Under the watchful eye of the mother dont the kids behave well?.

So we need to practice and extend our meditation. As we become aware in our real life, situations of the inner world in addition to the external things , a right view is developed. As we respond with compassion and love towards all, understanding as it is told the same awareness permeates the worm as the most exalted saint, how can we be affected by the external world.? It is only in the egoistic mind all sufferings arise. The pure awareness through which i see all including the egoistic mind is always blissful and I am that.

The Message of Impermanence

Know all things to be like this:
 A mirage, a cloud castle, A dream, an apparition,
 Without essence, but with qualities that can be seen.  
                                                             Buddha 

We all know we would die. Or putting it in another way, our body would die.Our mind would die. But will we die?. Were we born in the first place?. All these are questions we always have. One thing is certain our body would die. What is uncertain is when. This helps us to postpone our worries about death to a later point. I bring up this subject only to tell you about Impermanence. If you look around the world , you see so many things coming and going. Our body and mind are no exception. If i tell you about impermanence , we would all agree that it is a fact. But do we live that way?. That is the deep question. Since we have internally postponed our worry about death , we don't want to see impermanence in its natural form. Hidden deep within our psyche we know . But on a day to day basis we ignore it.
You might ask what is the good in looking and understanding impermanence. The importance is profound. If everything is not lasting for ever , then what is the importance of them. Obviously when we see a soap bubble, we know it would burst the next moment, Its beauty is only transient. But this is only a philosophical teaching. As we continue our life we forget it continuously. This is why spirituality tells you to look at impermanence deeply. What is the real meaning of it apart from a philosophical truth. The real meaning of impermanence is that  an entity such as a soap bubble can never exist independently. Its affected by so many things around it. The wind , the tension inside the bubble , the temperature of the surrounding air and so on. So its existence is also dependent on all of these factors which are innumerable. If everything is interdependent , it is no wonder that a particular thing doesn't last forever. When conditions change , the thing also is affected. So impermanence is a pointer towards interdependence.

So when we see death and see impermanence of body we understand the deep interconnection of life. The myriad conditions which it depends on , the connections it has with other people , nature and so on.It also points towards change , its transient nature and lack of individual importance. The short message of impermanence is that there are no individual existence . The totality is what is important. All small and individuals change and pass away. But the totality is always present in a different form . If that is so what are the importance of incidents in life?. They are even more transient.

So the profound nature of impermanence needs to be applied to each and every moment in life. Instead of just understanding it just as a philosophical truth,we need to see how it translates into our thoughts emotions and feelings. When the transient nature and interconnection is  seen we no longer become worried about the changes. We can see why something worrisome is happening. One because everything is impermanent , the fact that it is so is because it is connected and dependent on so many things and that change is natural.

The most interesting things about impermanence is that it tells you that all things are truly devoid of intrinsic meaning. The wave that we see is only a disturbance of water brought about by dependency of water and air. In essence there is no wave . Only a dependence arising . When that happens we see it as a wave rising and settling down, thinking that a wave is born and dying. All things are connected and hence there is continuous change all around, We perceive it as birth and death.

As we sit in meditation we see the fleeting nature of the mind through its thoughts feelings emotions and so on. Worries come, happiness comes. They come and go like the wind. Is there any meaning attached to it intrinsically?.Remember this;  all impermanence is devoid of meaning. This application of the understanding would helps us to let go of the thoughts and become calmer. So the truth of  impermanence needs to be applied not just understood. As we see death we are seeing something profound . The interplay of the unity of everything. Ignorance comes when we worry over individual happenings.

Unwanted thoughts

Getting rid of unwanted things may sometimes be necessary. When an unwanted call comes do you go on talking over the phone?.  No. You would cut off the phone saying that some mistake has happened. Just like that we should learn the art of not entertaining unnecessary thoughts in our mind. However in order to know that the call is unwanted you have to listen to it. Just like that if we want to know that a thought is unnecessary, we need to watch the mind producing the thought and compounding it. The more you brush off these unwanted thoughts the better it becomes. Most of the time you are thinking unnecessary blah blah thoughts which have absolutely no value and has no relation to reality.

Have you ever watched a football match without commentary. It is so boring to watch. It is the commentary that adds zip to the excitement of the match. The match itself is just movement of lot of people. It is the stories of the talent of people , the skill they are exhibiting , the country they are playing for , its history etc that makes the match exciting. This is an attribute of our mind too. Just as it perceives various incidents , it creates a running commentary for you. Unknowingly you are listening to it. That is why you sometimes say " I know what he is thinking. See what he said the other day. I know he would say that ." and so on. All these unwanted thinking and emoting is one of the reasons for your misery. This commentary is personal to you. Another person might not be the having the same perception of the same incident to which you would say " You don't know anything!!".

Our mind is nothing but a collection of different things like form, feeling , perception, concept and labeling. It is much like a crowd which has no meaning of association. Some individuals come together in a market place. They don't have any collective purpose or anything lofty. They just happened to be there. It is  a coincidence. Now if you try to make meaning out of this crowd you would have to use imaginary constructs and stories which need belief to support it. All the people in the market are actually belonging to a certain belief that if you come to the market at a certain time it is good. This is why all these people are here or some such theory about the crowd. Just like that the mind is a jumble of all such mental constructs just happening to be there due to odd coincidences like conditioning , our environment, our own beliefs and so on.

Suppose you want to go on a journey to some remote place. What would you try to do. To carry less luggage as possible so that you can enjoy the trip . Isn't it ?. Otherwise most of the time you would be struggling to carry the burden. Similarly carrying unwanted thoughts is a burden for our spiritual journey. We would become worried about our pain of carrying these rather than the exploration of the way.
Nisargatta Maharaj used to say, reject all thoughts except the pure knowledge "I am". All thoughts , emotions and every thing about the world comes only after the " I am". All add-ons are not required . Even if they are there, we need to grasp that there is something prior to all these add-ons.
All our incidents in life are nothing but  happenings to the pure "I am".  From that "I am" ,all things are just watched not experienced. "I am " is the sun, and everything else are rays from it.

The reason for all our suffering in life is only a perspective change. Instead of seeing that from the pure "I am", we see it from our mind which has created lot of blah blah thoughts in us. Let us see the happening of an incident. Suppose you are seeing the rain in front of you. Do you feel any happiness or sadness?. We experience rain as a seer. We appreciate it , revel in it. The reason for this is simple. In your mind there is no "I " connected with it. It is sort of experience which you can describe as "There is rain happening and i am becoming aware of it...". So when i see the rain , i know i am not the rain and hence i am the viewer of the rain. Just like that when you get rid of unwanted thoughts and start seeing from the perspective of "I am", then all incidents in life would be perceived as happenings in front of you.


So to summarize , we should be constantly aware of our mind and get rid of unwanted frivolous thoughts and emotions Ego needs maintenance to support it,  as it is fictitious. Unwanted thoughts and emotions are one way of maintaining it . Avoiding them we are stepping closer to our fundamental true nature. The lesser these thoughts become, the easier it is to see through the deceit of the mind which creates beautiful stories of our life .

Purno'ham

Let us briefly discuss what we mean by the term liberation. What exactly do we mean by that term?. For many it is freedom. So a question arises freedom from what ?. I feel crunched is often the cry. I need freedom. Suppose you are put inside a jail. What is the freedom you have lost?. You have lost the freedom of movement. Your actions becomes limited. However you are free to think as much as you want. Nobody can put you in a jail to restrict thinking!!!. So here freedom means unrestricted movement of body . However in our life despite no restrictions practically, we feel crunched. Here again , we are not restricted in thought. So what is freedom in this case?.

We have been telling that the sense of lack of freedom comes from within. When we cling to our thoughts repeatedly, we can't break free from them. So the question comes "why do we cling to our thoughts like this". The answer can be found in the things we seek in life. Wealth , societal position, security , human relations and its problems. What is common to all?. A sense of inadequacy. I feel that i am limited now. If i attain these things at least i can be better. So until i get all these , how can i live in this world. These feeling is enhanced in all our life situations. So we go on thinking on these issues of inadequacy. This is what we want freedom from.

Some people may think with lots of money they would become adequate. Some people want security or power to become adequate. Now look at all these searches . Can inadequacy be really overcome?. Because in any endeavor there is bound to be losses. If we amass wealth , we would have undergone lot of sleepless nights destroying our health, tension to evade the taxes and what not, By the time we are rich, we would have undergone lot of losses. So money has not helped us after all. Also i never seem to reach anywhere. When do i stop and say , i have had enough ?. So sense of inadequacy is not easily overcome. 

Some scientists and other people may work in a different way. They would be exploring knowledge. Their pursuit may not be wealth, but to amass knowledge. To become knowledgeable about the universe . Again this is a pursuit that never ends. Knowledge is always inadequate at any stage. There is always more to be learned than what we have learned. 

The upshot of all this is evident, The sense of inadequacy can never be overcome. Any finite effort would only result in finite gain which is still inadequate from another level. So all our efforts in the worlds are doomed to failure in a sense. However when we act we never think about this end state. We continue our efforts despite all these and constantly think of our inadequacy. And since this is not easily overcome, we can never be free from these clinging thoughts. 

Spirituality tends to take a different approach. Instead of overcoming the problem of inadequacy , it tries to go to the root of the issue. Who is that who feels inadequate?. Who wants more?. Let us first try to locate that entity. So instead of seeking it in the outside world, spiritual life focuses on the I who is seeking all these. So if common life is an outward journey to find adequacy, spiritual life is an inward journey to find the entity who is seeking . Let us truly find it out first, then let us ask whether there is a sense of inadequacy for that I.

To understand what we are , we need to clearly see what we are NOT. In meditation we see lots and lots of things. Thoughts, emotions , sensations , and so on. If we can witness them, clearly we are not all those. So we must be the seer of all these appearances in us. Now if we are what is seeing , then that entity cannot be affected by anything. Just as a microsope sees bacteria , fungus and all kinds of things but itself is never infected, the seer is only a seer, he never is affected by the seeing and the microscope is not bacteria, it is one which sees all microorganisms.


There is a zen story which tells us the futility of seeking ignoring our self

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life. One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant. To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. 

Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!" Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence.

 "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!" Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. 
"How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!" Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. 
"How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!" Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering rock. 
"How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!" Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought. He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter. 

What is noticeable in all these seeing is that . There is impermanence in all things seen. However the seer itself is not changing. He is the constant of all experiences. In finding the limitations of the seer , we find none. For he is not the body and mind, so he must be defined as pure existence beyond body and mind. So where are the boundaries of awareness?. The thought occurs in your brain or mind so is limited , but awareness is not in the mind or brain . It is the background in which the body itself is appearing. So if it is not finite in space , it must be spread out. In time also it seems to always there.

So we are coming to the conclusion unlike all the things seen , awareness which is the real you seeing all these is truly unlimited. In finding you, you have also solved a problem in life. The sense of inadequacy. For the real you is not limited in any sense.

The self revealing consciousness is therefore the embodiment of fullness and indestructibility. It cannot be divided, it is free of all differences, it is free of subject object division and so creates the objects itself which it perceives. When there is fullness , what is the need for this mundane endeavors of life?. On an full stomach , even if you are offered your favorite sweet you would say , i would take it later. Just like that when you realize your identity and work from there, you would say i dont need anything because all are in me. Just as i dont desire my hand since it is in me, the world is only an appearance in me, so i dont need the world. I dont have desires to bind me. I am always free from all clinging. 

Purno’ham. Cinmayoham ....Sat-cit-ananda svarupoham

Transcending suffering

One of the unavoidable facts of life is that there is suffering. Nobody is spared in this life of suffering. However not all people react to suffering in the same way. The idea of spiritual life is to transcend it by acknowledging it and becoming aware of it. The suffering stays as it is , but it no longer has its hold on us. When we develop this supreme attitude of living superficially and attending to the divine presence which is our true nature , suffering becomes a non entity .

Suffering can be alleviated by properly understanding what is the suffering happening in us. By directing  awareness towards it we should become familiar with what is internally happening. For e.g. there may be a trouble in a relationship . We need to understand what is happening in us when that trouble happens. If we do that the suffering is alleviated automatically. For e.g. there could be hatred happening , anger rising etc. Become aware of all these reactions inside you. The very fact that there is knowledge of them, is enough to dissolve them. Otherwise what happens is suffering rules our actions. It stimulates us to do various desperate actions. When we are aware of suffering , then we no longer become affected.

The reason why suffering needs to be understood is to see what is our relation to it. Initially it may seem odd to look bluntly at  our own suffering as many people believe that it is better not to look at it. But spiritual practice looks at suffering in a different way. We need to stare directly at suffering to understand our relation towards it , so that we can explore the possibility of having a different relation to it. If we are unconscious of how we are reacting, we are driven by the mind to increase it. The more aware we are of it , the easier it becomes to transcend it and develop a quieter relation to it.

One more tenet of spiritual life is clearly developing the discriminatory power to distinguish between what is permanent and what is not. This power is often called vivekam in vedanta circles. When we live our mundane life we don't take much time to distinguish them. We attribute much importance to so many things like artha ( various wealth), kama( desire) , and dharma.. Only when suffering and old age hits us do we look back on all these aspects of life. Spirituality tells us that all these are impermanent things and hence suffering arising from them need not trouble us. Also we should start to slowly get detached from all these material possessions.

There is a very important aspect of this understanding. Many people try to abandon things physically without developing the mental detachment towards it. I am giving up this , i am giving up that and so on. Now what happens is that internally there is a sort of clinging to a thought that i gave up that because i was sort of forced to do that . How sad it is ?. But i am doing this for the sake of others , so it is alright. Now you can see that there are still lot of mental clinging of those objects , even though we have physically abandoned it. The dropping of  mental clinging to these objects should always precede the physical detachment. Then only detachment makes sense. How we do this ?. Again it comes to becoming aware of the clinging. Notice how our thought patterns are centered around aspects which we consider as important. Then slowly let them go. Just allowing them to fly past us. See the calm settling down. Once we truly become free from the thought patterns then physical detachment is easy. Many people think the other way, they think we can abandon physically first then get used to it . No. That never works.

One of the coolest things in spiritual life is that it also gives us practical ways to develop this attitude. The most important aspect of knowing our own inner world can be achieved with the help of sitting meditation , atma vichara and being attentive when doing tasks thus slowly living in meditation.  Another kind of meditation that can be done is to pray for the welfare of even people we don't like . Let them become peaceful and harmonious . This helps us to build compassion.

Here is a summary of things you can try

Meditate daily, every morning and evening for at least 20 minutes. See your suffering and your story and attachments, as you meditate. As you come out of meditation just see what were the things grabbed you .

After a time, add compassion meditation. Wish for your suffering to end, then expand it to others in your life, then to all living beings.

Then, when a difficulty arises in your daily life, see the suffering, see the attachment, and expand your mind beyond it, giving yourself compassion while seeing that you are bigger than this attachment. Let it be there like a little cloud, floating around in the wide expanse of your awareness, and then lightly let it float away, rather than sinking yourself into it. This is one way of developing a different relation to the suffering. Another way is to let it go by understanding its impermanence.

Think of spirituality more ,than the materialistic inclinations in life.

The most important question now comes up. So i am getting free of all these, what should i do ?. Here is the deepest understanding of spiritual life . Rest in your awareness. Just notice everything and experience your blissful self. There is no need to attain anything for this. No wealth can equal it. No life situation can give it to you. Understand yourself more intimately. As you go deeper and deeper , you would never want to come out of the state. It becomes your natural abode. Spreading the word around to others could also be a worthy task. The search is over. Let life pass. So you can see end of suffering is also blissful presence. This is where you came from. You are back to your true home. Welcome home.

Noticing Pure awareness

There are many ways to notice our inner state of pure being. The more we notice it in its pure state the more calmer we become. This is because, usually the conscious energy is getting channelized for unwanted thoughts , emotions , ruminations about the past or future , anxiety , depression and so on. All these are waves and torpedoes in conscious energy. Our body, mind and every system gets agitated and worn out. The deep silence of pure awareness gives the whole body and mind a deep rest. Conscious energy is in its natural state of pure bliss.

When we say pure awareness it seems to imply there is also something that is not pure as far as awareness is concerned. What we mean by pure awareness is when awareness is not knowing anything in particular. When a thought comes or when you see something , awareness now becomes awareness of thought , awareness of sight etc. This draws awareness from resting to knowing a particular thing. If we are aware that awareness is trying to know a thought or a sight, then awareness doesn't get entangled with the object. But if we are not aware of this process, then awareness is drawn into the object in front of it. So we say you have been identified with the thought or sight. This is what happens when we are lost in thought . We (awareness ) have been drawn into the thought stream so much so that our identity lies inside the thought stream.

Let us see how we can notice the pure awareness when there are so many things going on in our mind. Let us discuss a simple way that we can use in meditation. When we sit in meditation we notice the thoughts coming and going in our mind. When an engaging thought comes and our awareness is lost in it , we will not notice anything. This is because awareness is the power of knowing things. Since it is now engaged in the thought , we cannot notice anything except the thought that is keeping it busy. When we are free from it , notice the slight gap before a new thought arrives. This is where you start your Soham chanting. Just before you start it , notice the small gap in awareness. This is the pure state where it is free and blissful. You can see that between thoughts there is truly nothing.

When we are reading a book, there are lot of background noise sometimes like chirping birds, the siren of ambulance or some such disturbances. Still we are able to read the book. This is because our awareness is on the process of reading .Just like that instead of being attentive on the thoughts , become aware of the silence in the gaps. Just notice.

Also there is another simple way of seeing pure awareness. When we start our meditation there is a small period of silence before thought streams start coming. So you can see this background of silence in which the thoughts , etc are coming. There is initially a silence, then against this sky of purity , clouds of thoughts start moving about, sometimes dark clouds , sometimes small ones , sometimes simple ones. Whatever they are , they are appearing in the background of purity . This background of silence is the pure awareness..

This is not easy to notice initially since the deluge of thoughts are often more when we start our spiritual practice. As time goes on , it becomes easier to notice even small things. When you do notice the pure awareness , don't try to hang on to it or anything. It is not possible. Just notice it. Just relish its presence. Any effort will destroy it . To hold on itself is a desire. It should stay effortlessly.

Noticing pure awareness is also important if we want to experience our true self ,because this knowing is the real self. When we are more and more attuned to this, our mind also responds favorably. It now springs very mild ,non engaging peaceful thoughts, since it knows it is being watched by its source. As the mind settles down, our decision making becomes clearer. This is why most spiritual practitioners ask us to decide when our mind is quiet. More quiet the mind , the less reactionary it is ,more intuitive and insightful it becomes.

All through our life we have known many things. We are aware of so many things. We are aware of sights , sounds, experiences. But we never cared for the source of all these experiences. Noticing pure awareness which is the background in which all your life drama was played out is so simple . Please note that it is not an object, so you wont be able to locate it. It is the subject itself. Noticing it , you find the real you!!!. How amazing !!!. Finding you is an experience.